Left of the Dial

very specific requirements

The Brawn has been playing quietly by himself for some time. I say "quietly" but he has, in fact, kept up a very steady stream of dialogue between himself and what sounds like at least two or three other different personas. Which is why I only notice when he says "anybody?" for what I belatedly realize is about the fourth time. 

"I'm sorry, buddy, do you need something?" 

"Yeah. I'm playing store and I need a customer. But it has to be someone who understands how to do it right. So can you get someone for me? Like the Golden Weasel or...the Golden Weasel? Can you get the Golden Weasel?" 

negotiations

We're on the couch, watching something incredibly erudite and educational — (New Girl) — when Top Management stirs. 

"Where are you going?" 

"I need to get socks." 

"Why? I can get 'em for you."

The briefest of pauses. "You make a persuasive argument. Make sure they're the black ones with the pink bees." 

searches I never thought I'd see

I don't know how, but someone managed to wind up on a Left of the Dial page from 2006 while searching for "who sells binks easter bunny in corpus christi."

I have never been so proud.

trust but verify

"Dad? How do you spell 'Golden Weasel'?" 

I spell it for him, then look over to see him squatting down, a tongue sticking out in concentration, as he rearranges Scrabble tiles. 

"Look!" he yells. "I spelled 'Hobbes'—H, O, B, E, E, S!" 

"Close," I say. "It's got two Bs and one E. H,O, B, B, E, S." 

He turns to look up at me, then back down at the tiles, then at me again, then runs off to get a Calvin & Hobbes collection to check. 

It's possible I should rethink my strategy of answering my spawn's questions with "humorous" replies quite so often.