Left of the Dial

That Guy

You know how when you drive on unfamiliar roads during rush hour it’s really stressful because everyone else drives to work on them 250 times a year and they know ‘em like the backs of their hands and you’re trying to figure out where to go and which lane you want and you’re trying to get over but wait maybe that’s not where you want to be after all and does the road split a quarter mile up or do I have to merge here? And it sucks because there’s that one guy who’s all exasperated with you and rather than being nice he’s all in a hurry and just makes the whole thang that much worse?

Yeah. Today I was That Guy.

I hate being That Guy. 

Under Pressure

I really gotta post something one of these days, but the San Diego Comic-Con has robbed me of several years' worth of brain cells, and I had none I could really spare. So I shall leave you with this utterly brilliant stand-in for Freddie Mercury—I cannot imagine a better choice, and that fact that she's kinda dressed like David Bowie in "Ashes to Ashes" is just that much grander: 

 

Big ol' H/T to old college roomie Dave. 

Domino's Scientists Test Limits of What Humans Will Eat

I love pizza. I love The Onion. Put the two together and there can be no bad result. 

...okay, that was a foolish foolish thing to have said. But this is awesome:

Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat

Big ol' H/T to DT. 

What a Fetting

I am a geek. This comes as news to no one. Yet I’ve never come close to understanding why the hell Boba Fett is as popular as he is. I don’t think I even noticed him the first half-dozen times I saw the original Star Wars trilogy.

I am also a child of the 80s. So much as I hated this film, every second of this dance is imprinted on my DNA.

Put ‘em both together and you have yet one more reason to say God bless Al Gore and his mighty mighty invention, teh internetz. 

In Memoriam

The Defense Department last week identified the following American military personnel killed in Afghanistan and Iraq or who died at a U.S. hospital of their injuries:

Sergio S. Abad, 21, of Morganfield, Ky.; private first class, Army. Abad was among nine soldiers killed July 13 when insurgents armed with machine guns, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades mounted a fierce assault on a remote, relatively lightly manned U.S. outpost near the village of Wanat in northeastern Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team in Vicenza, Italy.

Jonathan R. Ayers, 24, of Snellville, Ga.; corporal, Army. Ayers was among nine soldiers killed July 13 when insurgents armed with machine guns, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades mounted a fierce assault on a remote, relatively lightly manned U.S. outpost near the village of Wanat in northeastern Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team in Vicenza, Italy.

Jason M. Bogar, 25, of Seattle; corporal, Army. Bogar was among nine soldiers killed July 13 when insurgents armed with machine guns, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades mounted a fierce assault on a remote, relatively lightly manned U.S. outpost near the village of Wanat in northeastern Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team in Vicenza, Italy.

Jonathan P. Brostrom, 24, of Aiea, Hawaii; first lieutenant, Army. Brostrom was among nine soldiers killed July 13 when insurgents armed with machine guns, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades mounted a fierce assault on a remote, relatively lightly manned U.S. outpost near the village of Wanat in northeastern Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team in Vicenza, Italy.

Israel Garcia, 24, of Long Beach; sergeant, Army. Garcia was among nine soldiers killed July 13 when insurgents armed with machine guns, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades mounted a fierce assault on a remote, relatively lightly manned U.S. outpost near the village of Wanat in northeastern Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team in Vicenza, Italy.

Brian S. Leon Guerrero, 34, of Hagatna, Guam; specialist, Army National Guard. Leon Guerrero was one of two guardsmen killed July 10 when their vehicle struck a roadside bomb near Babo Kheyl in eastern Afghanistan's Paktia province. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 294th Infantry Regiment in Barrigada, Guam.

Jason D. Hovater, 24, of Clinton, Tenn.; corporal, Army. Hovater was among nine soldiers killed July 13 when insurgents armed with machine guns, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades mounted a fierce assault on a remote, relatively lightly manned U.S. outpost near the village of Wanat in northeastern Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team in Vicenza, Italy.

Jackie L. Larsen, 37, of Tacoma, Wash.; technical sergeant, Air Force. Larsen died of natural causes Thursday at Balad Air Base, Iraq, north of Baghdad. The exact cause of death was not released. She was assigned to the 9th Reconnaissance Wing at Beale Air Force Base, Calif.

Jason D. Mann, 29, of Woodlynne, N.J.; first lieutenant, Marine Corps. Mann died in a nonhostile incident Thursday in Afghanistan's Helmand province, southwest of Kabul. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 6th Marines, 24th Marine Expeditionary Unit, 2nd Marine Expeditionary Force at Camp Lejeune, N.C.

Samson A. Mora, 28, of Dededo, Guam; specialist, Army National Guard. Mora was one of two guardsmen killed July 10 when their vehicle struck a roadside bomb near Babo Kheyl in eastern Afghanistan's Paktia province. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 294th Infantry Regiment in Barrigada, Guam.

Matthew B. Phillips, 27, of Jasper, Ga.; corporal, Army. Phillips was among nine soldiers killed July 13 when insurgents armed with machine guns, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades mounted a fierce assault on a remote, relatively lightly manned U.S. outpost near the village of Wanat in northeastern Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team in Vicenza, Italy.

Pruitt A. Rainey, 22, of Haw River, N.C.; corporal, Army. Rainey was among nine soldiers killed July 13 when insurgents armed with machine guns, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades mounted a fierce assault on a remote, relatively lightly manned U.S. outpost near the village of Wanat in northeastern Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team in Vicenza, Italy.

Willington M. Rhoads, 23, of Las Vegas; private first class, Army. Rhoads died of non-combat-related injuries Wednesday in Bagram, Afghanistan, north of Kabul. He was assigned to the 173rd Brigade Support Battalion (Airborne) in Vicenza, Italy.

Jeffery S. Stevenson, 20, of Newton, N.J.; lance corporal, Marine Corps. Stevenson died July 13 in a nonhostile incident in Iraq's Anbar province, west of Baghdad. He was assigned to the 7th Engineer Support Battalion, 1st Marine Logistics Group, 1st Marine Expeditionary Force at Camp Pendleton.

David W. Textor, 27, of Roanoke, Va.; staff sergeant, Army. Textor was killed Tuesday in a non-combat-related vehicle accident in Mosul, Iraq, north of Baghdad. He was assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 1st Special Forces Group (Airborne) at Ft. Lewis, Wash.

Daniel R. Verbeke, 25, of Exton, Pa.; petty officer third class, Navy. Verbeke died Monday at Paoli Hospital in Paoli, Pa., of complications from injuries he suffered in a flight deck accident in December 2005 while serving aboard the aircraft carrier Theodore Roosevelt in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Jeremy D. Vrooman, 28, of Sioux Falls, S.D.; staff sergeant, Army. Vrooman died Tuesday in Baghdad of injuries suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near him during combat operations in Kn'an. He was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 2nd Stryker Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 1st Armored Division in Vilseck, Germany.

Mitchell W. Young, 39, of Jonesboro, Ga.; master sergeant, Army. Young was killed July 13 when his vehicle struck a roadside bomb near Kajaki Sofla in Afghanistan's Helmand province, southwest of Kabul. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne) at Ft. Bragg, N.C.

Gunnar W. Zwilling, 20, of Florissant, Mo.; corporal, Army. Zwilling was among nine soldiers killed July 13 when insurgents armed with machine guns, mortars and rocket-propelled grenades mounted a fierce assault on a remote, relatively lightly manned U.S. outpost near the village of Wanat in northeastern Afghanistan. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 503rd Infantry Regiment (Airborne), 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team in Vicenza, Italy.

Stephen Colbert’s The Wørd: Priceless

So my second-favorite Catholic had a piece last night which was great, even by his standards: 

Folks, everybody knows I’m a huge fan of market forces.  It’s always bugged me when people say you can’t put a monetary value on human life.  Of course you can!

That’s why I demand ransom for the release of my summer interns.  Pay up, mom and dad!

Well, it turns out there is an exact monetary value of human life.  It is a number calculated by government actuaries based on risk assessment and payroll figures that is used to decide whether life saving regulations are worth paying for.  For example, let’s say there’s proposed legislation that will require inspecting possibly tainted Chinese shrimp.  And, let’s further say that regulation would cost $100 million, and if you don’t inspect the shrimp, 100 people could die at a seafood restaurant.

Now, if you value…if you value those 100 people at a million dollars each, the benefit is equal to the cost, so the regulation’s worth it.  But, if you value them at less than a million dollars each, well, the cost outweighs the benefit.  Now, I happen to think—and this is just me—I happen to think tainted shrimp adds an element of danger to the appetizer course.  It’s like skydiving with cocktail sauce.

Now, the Environmental Protection Agency uses numbers like this to decide whether to regulate things like pollution.  And five years ago, they estimated that a human life was worth $7.8 million, but recently they lowered that to $6.9 million dollars.  

That’s right, under the Bush administration, human life has become a million dollars cheaper.   
 This…this is great news. Because the lower the value of human life, the less it pays to protect it with regulations.  That might be why last week the EPA chose not to regulate greenhouse gases.  It’s just not worth it with human life at such bargain basement prices.

But we can get those prices lower.

By devaluing life, they’ve made it less likely to regulate water and air quality.  And the worse the water and air quality get, the less life is worth living, which further devalues life, which makes it even less likely to regulate water and air quality.  It’s like the circle of life.  

And that’s great, that’s great.  You see, while they may have lowered the value of a person, the EPA has given us something worth a lot more.  Because a human life: $6.9 million; gaming the system to protect industry from safety regulations: Priceless.  

Loudon Wainwright III's "Daughter"

This is a man who has very clearly had female offspring. 

 

Round about these here parts, we refer to this piece as "Senator Smoosh's Theme Song."  

Journey at the Center of the Earth

I always suspected. People thought I was crazy, but I never stopped believin'.

Major H/T to the great and terrible Kristen. 

He Hate Me

In Memoriam

The Defense Department last week identified the following American military personnel killed in Afghanistan or who died at a military hospital of their injuries:

Edgar A. Heredia, 28, of Houston; staff sergeant, Marine Corps. Heredia was killed in combat June 26 in southwestern Afghanistan's Farah province. He was assigned to the 2nd Marine Special Operations Battalion, Marine Corps Forces Special Operations Command at Camp Lejeune, N.C.

Matthew L. Hilton, 37, of Livonia, Mich.; sergeant first class, Army National Guard. Hilton was among three guardsmen killed June 26 when their convoy vehicle struck a roadside bomb and insurgents then attacked their unit with rocket-propelled grenades and small-arms fire near Forward Operating Base Shank in eastern Afghanistan's Lowgar province. He was assigned to the 425th Infantry Regiment in Selfridge, Mich.

Travis K. Hunsberger, 24, of Goshen, Ind.; staff sergeant, Army. Hunsberger was killed June 27 when a roadside bomb exploded near him while he was on a combat reconnaissance patrol in the Tarin Kowt district of southern Afghanistan's Oruzgan province. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne) at Ft. Bragg, N.C.

Joseph A. McKay, 51, of Brooklyn, N.Y.; sergeant first class, Army National Guard. McKay was among three guardsmen killed June 26 when their convoy vehicle struck a roadside bomb and insurgents then attacked their unit with rocket-propelled grenades and small-arms fire near Forward Operating Base Shank in eastern Afghanistan's Lowgar province. He was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 101st Cavalry Regiment (Reconnaissance, Surveillance and Target Acquisition) in Jamestown, N.Y.

Mark C. Palmateer, 38, of Poughkeepsie, N.Y.; specialist, Army National Guard. Palmateer was among three guardsmen killed June 26 when their convoy vehicle struck a roadside bomb and insurgents then attacked their unit with rocket-propelled grenades and small-arms fire near Forward Operating Base Shank in eastern Afghanistan's Lowgar province. He was assigned to the 2nd Squadron, 101st Cavalry Regiment (Reconnaissance, Surveillance and Target Acquisition) in Jamestown, N.Y.

Jeffrey M. Radamorales, 32, of Naranjito, Puerto Rico; sergeant first class, Army. Radamorales was among three soldiers who drowned June 29 when their mine-protected vehicle rolled into a canal near Khosrow-E Sofla in southern Afghanistan's Kandahar province. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne) at Ft. Bragg, N.C. 

Shawn E. Simmons, 39, of Ashland, Mass.; master sergeant, Army. Simmons was among three soldiers who drowned June 29 when their mine-protected vehicle rolled into a canal near Khosrow-E Sofla in southern Afghanistan's Kandahar province. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne) at Ft. Bragg, N.C. 

James M. Treber, 24, of Imperial Beach, Calif.; sergeant, Army. Treber was among three soldiers who drowned June 29 when their mine-protected vehicle rolled into a canal near Khosrow-E Sofla in southern Afghanistan's Kandahar province. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 7th Special Forces Group (Airborne) at Ft. Bragg, N.C.

Estell L. Turner, 43, of Sioux Falls, S.D.; specialist, Army. Turner died Monday at the National Naval Medical Center in Bethesda, Md., of injuries suffered June 28 when his vehicle struck a roadside bomb in Malikheyl, Afghanistan, southwest of Kabul. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 506th Infantry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division (Air Assault) at Ft. Campbell, Ky.

Plausible Deniability

"Hi, Daddy. You come outside?"

Why, yes, Senator, I did come outside. Have you been playing with dirt?

"No."

America the Beautiful

A very happy birthday to this great nation of ours. 

What is this land America so many travel there
I'm going now while I'm still young my darling meet me there
Wish me luck my lovely I'll send for you when I can 
And we'll make our home in the American land

Over there all the woman wear silk and satin to their knees
And children dear, the sweets, I hear, are growing on the trees
Gold comes rushing out the rivers straight into your hands
When you make your home in the American Land

There's diamonds in the sidewalk the's gutters lined in song 
Dear I hear that beer flows through the faucets all night long 
There's treasure for the taking for any hard working man 
Who will make his home in the American Land

I docked at Ellis Island in a city of light and spires 
She met me in the valley of red-hot steel and fire
We made the steel that built the cities with our sweat and two hands
And we made our home in the American Land

There's diamonds in the sidewalk the's gutters lined in song 
Dear I hear that beer flows through the faucets all night long 
There's treasure for the taking, for any hard working man 
Who will make his home in the American Land

The McNicholas, the Posalskis, the Smiths, Zerillis, too
The Blacks, the Irish, Italians, the Germans and the Jews 
Come across the water a thousand miles from home 
With nothin in their bellies but the fire down below 

They died building the railroads worked to bones and skin 
They died in the fields and factories names scattered in the wind 
They died to get here a hundred years ago they're still dyin now 
The hands that built the country we're always trying to keep down

There's diamonds in the sidewalk the gutters lined in song 
Dear I hear that beer flows through the faucets all night long 
There's treasure for the taking for any hard working man 
Who will make his home in the American Land
Who will make his home in the American Land 
Who will make his home in the American Land

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