Not Really Steve

So Top Management recently posted this:

Steve Demme, really should be giving me a commission. Heck, we even named our son after him.* But he isn't. He's never heard of me. But his Virginia distributor has. That woman's got to LOVE me. Big huge order every year since we moved here.
*I'm joking. Of course that isn't true. We named him after Steve from Blue's Clues, of course.

Which, I have to admit, came as news to me. Because I thought we named The Boy after me.

You see, I have been accidentally—“accidentally?”—called Steve by I don’t even know how many people…but it’s been a lot. I get called Steve all the time. I've gotten called Steve by two different people the past two nights, in fact.

I've even had landlords—two of ‘em, in fact, neither of whom knew each other, as they were the owners of two different houses in two different cities—who called me Steve consistently. They used to get a damn check from me every single month with my name on it, so it’s not like they just misheard when we were first introduced and they never got a chance to correct the mistake. One of them even brought in my mail every single day since I lived right upstairs from him for five years. I mean, wouldn’t you think that after seeing my name on Sports Illustrated 250 times, he’d start to pick up on his mistake?

And it’s always Steve. I've never gotten called Rick or Todd or Jeremiah, at least not that I can recall (and I’m pretty sure I’d remember Jeremiah). What’s up with that? Do I really look like a Steve? And if so, what does a Steve look like? Besides me, that is.

Apparently Steves are more handsome than Paul Newman, funnier than Chris Rock, more charming than Cary Grant and can dance almost as well as Stephen Hawking.

Who, it occurs to me, may indeed be called Steve on occasion.

But probably never Scott.

Comments

[Steve the LLamabutcher]

Welcome to ClubSteve. The chief benefit is that you get to lift a classic joke and whenever someone calls you "Mr. LLamabutcher? May I call you Steve?" you get to reply, "Why YES! You may call me Mister STEVE LLamabutcher."

[Molly]

I am married to a Steve (friends and family call him Stephen, but co-workers and acquaintances know him as Steve), and I can quite honestly say that you're right:
Steves are more handsome than Paul Newman, funnier than Chris Rock, more charming than Cary Grant and can dance almost as well as Stephen Hawking.
At least my Steve is/can. :-)

[Molly]

I am married to a Steve (friends and family call him Stephen, but co-workers and acquaintances know him as Steve), and I can quite honestly say that you're right:
Steves are more handsome than Paul Newman, funnier than Chris Rock, more charming than Cary Grant and can dance almost as well as Stephen Hawking.
At least my Steve is/can. :-)

[Molly]

Oh man, my 19-month-old daughter hit the "post" button twice for me. Can you delete my duplicate above (and then this one)? Thanks. :-)

[scott]

Can you delete my duplicate above (and then this one)?

Of course I can.

But I shall not.

That'll learn you to have kids!

[Ed]

Steve? How about Adam? I don't know if it is 'southern thang' or what. But how do you go from Ed to Adam? I think I would take Steve instead. Then I would be funnier than Chris Rock.

[scott]

how do you go from Ed to Adam? I think I would take Steve instead. Then I would be funnier than Chris Rock.

Well, sure, there is that. But everyone knows that Adams are richer than Bill Gates and can throw down on LeBron James.

[Caryn]

I have another friend named Scott and I've heard people call him Steve, too. Not sure why they make that particular jump from Scott to Steve, but they do. I've had numerous people glance at my name and suddenly it becomes Carolyn. They just add "ol". Some people just don't pay attention.