Rockin' the Right

—Updated below—

I’m pretty amazed by this list. A large percentage are seventh-rate bands at their very best—I mean, Rush? The Scorpions? After the Fire? After the freakin’ Fire?!

Then there are some of the worst things the major artists in question ever released: I mean, yeah, okay, Bob Dylan obviously is likely to deserve a place on any list of the 50 Greatest Songs of Anything…but "Neighborhood Bully?" It’s not that the song doesn’t fit the stated criteria of the list…other than the fact that the song blows. And presumably a prime criterion for inclusion in this list is that a song isn’t supposed to suck. Which brings us to The Eagles, a band which manages to be both major and second- or third-rate at the same time, and whose reunion tune on here, "Get Over It," manages to be both lousy and hypocritical, considering that they are without question the whiniest major band ever.

Miller also desperately twists the meanings of some of these songs, so that "My City Was Gone," a song decrying the desecration of nature for another parking lot, is somehow seen as being more likely to come from the rightwing. Because, you know, major developers are so well known to be of the liberal ilk. It’s hard to believe this would have ever been considered for the list were it not for the fact that it’s the intro music to massive hypocrite and admitted drug-addicted felon Rush Limbaugh. But what, then, can explain the inclusion of "I Fought the Law"—a great song, to be sure, but its presence here is baffling, unless it’s meant as a cautionary tale? Or when he cherrypicks the lyrics to "Small Town," leaving out the next two lines which would destroy his point: "I can be myself in this small town/The people let me be just who I wanna be." Wow, sounds like a paean to diversity to me. [In fact, it sounds like San Francisco.]

Even Blue Öyster Cult’s "Godzilla" gets twisted (and how can you twist that?!: "History shows again and again / How nature points up the folly of men." Right. Remember how Godzilla was created in the first damn place? By the folly of nuclear weapons! My goodness, how terrifically rightwing a POV. But at least I’m glad to note that Miller and the National Review seem to be onboard with the incredible dangers of global warning. I’ll alert Al Gore immediately.

Then there’s what can only be assumed to be either willful misreadings or abject stupidity on Miller’s part. As he admits, "yeah, okay, CCR’s ‘Who’ll Stop the Rain’ was a protest against Vietnam, but it might not be a whole-hearted endorsement of liberal policies either!" Ooooookay.

And "Wake Up, Little Susie" somehow represents a time when social pressures in high school were different? For pete’s sake, it’s about teenage kids having sex—how is that different from today? Not to mention he overlooks a key facet of the song: they didn’t really fall asleep at the drive-in because the movie was so boring. That’s not why they’re so late getting home. Hellooooo...

There are so many, many other stupidities which could be pointed out, but I’ll let you have the fun of discovering them on your own—it’s not difficult, but it is amusing, or perhaps infuriating, depending upon your mood. I mean, even the intro fudges the facts—yes, Johnny Cash said that, and he was also dead-set against the war in Vietnam and the death penalty. Not to mention that folks songs have always been political, for centuries. To deny that facet of them is to deny folk songs a central tenet of their very nature, which is to deny their validity entirely.

Just one last thing: the riff in "Taxman" was not played by Paul McCartney, the frenetic solo was. That famous "guitar riff" is actually a bass riff, and is played by George Harrison. In fact, there is no guitar riff until the last verse, at which point the guitar merely imitates what the bass has been doing all along.

Maroon.

Rockin’ the Right
by JOHN J. MILLER of National Review

On first glance, rock 'n' roll music isn't very conservative. It doesn't fare much better on second or third glance (or listen), either. Neil Young has a new song called "Let's Impeach the President." Last year, the Rolling Stones made news with "Sweet Neo Con," another anti-Bush ditty. For conservatives who enjoy rock, it isn't hard to agree with the opinion Johnny Cash expressed in "The One on the Right Is on the Left": "Don't go mixin' politics with the folk songs of our land / Just work on harmony and diction / Play your banjo well / And if you have political convictions, keep them to yourself." In other words: Shut up and sing.

But some rock songs really are conservative -- and there are more of them than you might think. Last year, I asked readers of National Review Online to nominate conservative rock songs. Hundreds of suggestions poured in. I've sifted through them all, downloaded scores of mp3s, and puzzled over a lot of lyrics. What follows is a list of the 50 greatest conservative rock songs of all time, as determined by me and a few others. The result is of course arbitrary, though we did apply a handful of criteria.

What makes a great conservative rock song? The lyrics must convey a conservative idea or sentiment, such as skepticism of government or support for traditional values. And, to be sure, it must be a great rock song. We're biased in favor of songs that are already popular, but have tossed in a few little-known gems. In several cases, the musicians are outspoken liberals. Others are notorious libertines. For the purposes of this list, however, we don't hold any of this against them. Finally, it would have been easy to include half a dozen songs by both the Kinks and Rush, but we've made an effort to cast a wide net. Who ever said diversity isn't a conservative principle?

So here are NR’s top 50 conservative rock songs of all time. Go ahead and quibble with the rankings, complain about what we put on, and send us outraged letters and e-mails about what we left off. In the end, though, we hope you’ll admit that it’s a pretty cool playlist for your iPod.

1. "Won’t Get Fooled Again," by The Who.
The conservative movement is full of disillusioned revolutionaries; this could be their theme song, an oath that swears off na?ve idealism once and for all. "There’s nothing in the streets / Looks any different to me / And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye. . . . Meet the new boss / Same as the old boss." The instantly recognizable synthesizer intro, Pete Townshend’s ringing guitar, Keith Moon’s pounding drums, and Roger Daltrey’s wailing vocals make this one of the most explosive rock anthems ever recorded — the best number by a big band, and a classic for conservatives.

2. "Taxman," by The Beatles.
A George Harrison masterpiece with a famous guitar riff (which was actually played by Paul McCartney): "If you drive a car, I’ll tax the street / If you try to sit, I’ll tax your seat / If you get too cold, I’ll tax the heat / If you take a walk, I’ll tax your feet." The song closes with a humorous jab at death taxes: "Now my advice for those who die / Declare the pennies on your eyes."

3. "Sympathy for the Devil," by The Rolling Stones.
Don’t be misled by the title; this song is The Screwtape Letters of rock. The devil is a tempter who leans hard on moral relativism — he will try to make you think that "every cop is a criminal / And all the sinners saints." What’s more, he is the sinister inspiration for the cruelties of Bolshevism: "I stuck around St. Petersburg / When I saw it was a time for a change / Killed the czar and his ministers / Anastasia screamed in vain."

4. "Sweet Home Alabama," by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
A tribute to the region of America that liberals love to loathe, taking a shot at Neil Young’s Canadian arrogance along the way: "A Southern man don’t need him around anyhow."

5. "Wouldn’t It Be Nice," by The Beach Boys.
Pro-abstinence and pro-marriage: "Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true / Baby then there wouldn’t be a single thing we couldn’t do / We could be married / And then we’d be happy."

6. "Gloria," by U2.
Just because a rock song is about faith doesn’t mean that it’s conservative. But what about a rock song that’s about faith and whose chorus is in Latin? That’s beautifully reactionary: "Gloria / In te domine / Gloria / Exultate."

7. "Revolution," by The Beatles.
"You say you want a revolution / Well you know / We all want to change the world . . . Don’t you know you can count me out?" What’s more, Communism isn’t even cool: "If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao / You ain’t going to make it with anyone anyhow." (Someone tell the Che Guevara crowd.)

8. "Bodies," by The Sex Pistols.
Violent and vulgar, but also a searing anti-abortion anthem by the quintessential punk band: "It’s not an animal / It’s an abortion."

9. "Don’t Tread on Me," by Metallica.
A head-banging tribute to the doctrine of peace through strength, written in response to the first Gulf War: "So be it / Threaten no more / To secure peace is to prepare for war."

10. "20th Century Man," by The Kinks.
"You keep all your smart modern writers / Give me William Shakespeare / You keep all your smart modern painters / I’ll take Rembrandt, Titian, da Vinci, and Gainsborough. . . . I was born in a welfare state / Ruled by bureaucracy / Controlled by civil servants / And people dressed in grey / Got no privacy got no liberty / ’Cause the 20th-century people / Took it all away from me."

11. "The Trees," by Rush.
Before there was Rush Limbaugh, there was Rush, a Canadian band whose lyrics are often libertarian. What happens in a forest when equal rights become equal outcomes? "The trees are all kept equal / By hatchet, axe, and saw."

12. "Neighborhood Bully," by Bob Dylan.
A pro-Israel song released in 1983, two years after the bombing of Iraq’s nuclear reactor, this ironic number could be a theme song for the Bush Doctrine: "He destroyed a bomb factory, nobody was glad / The bombs were meant for him / He was supposed to feel bad / He’s the neighborhood bully."

13. "My City Was Gone," by The Pretenders.
Virtually every conservative knows the bass line, which supplies the theme music for Limbaugh’s radio show. But the lyrics also display a Jane Jacobs sensibility against central planning and a conservative’s dissatisfaction with rapid change: "I went back to Ohio / But my pretty countryside / Had been paved down the middle / By a government that had no pride."

14. "Right Here, Right Now," by Jesus Jones.
The words are vague, but they’re also about the fall of Communism and the end of the Cold War: "I was alive and I waited for this. . . . Watching the world wake up from history."

15. "I Fought the Law," by The Crickets.
The original law-and-order classic, made famous in 1965 by The Bobby Fuller Four and covered by just about everyone since then.

16. "Get Over It," by The Eagles.
Against the culture of grievance: "The big, bad world doesn’t owe you a thing." There’s also this nice line: "I’d like to find your inner child and kick its little ass."

17. "Stay Together for the Kids," by Blink 182.
A eulogy for family values by an alt-rock band whose members were raised in a generation without enough of them: "So here’s your holiday / Hope you enjoy it this time / You gave it all away. . . . It’s not right."

18. "Cult of Personality," by Living Colour.
A hard-rocking critique of state power, whacking Mussolini, Stalin, and even JFK: "I exploit you, still you love me / I tell you one and one makes three / I’m the cult of personality."

19. "Kicks," by Paul Revere and the Raiders.
An anti-drug song that is also anti-utopian: "Well, you think you’re gonna find yourself a little piece of paradise / But it ain’t happened yet, so girl you better think twice."

20. "Rock the Casbah," by The Clash.
After 9/11, American radio stations were urged not to play this 1982 song, one of the biggest hits by a seminal punk band, because it was seen as too provocative. Meanwhile, British Forces Broadcasting Service (the radio station for British troops serving in Iraq) has said that this is one of its most requested tunes.

21. "Heroes," by David Bowie.
A Cold War love song about a man and a woman divided by the Berlin Wall. No moral equivalence here: "I can remember / Standing / By the wall / And the guns / Shot above our heads / And we kissed / As though nothing could fall / And the shame / Was on the other side / Oh we can beat them / For ever and ever."

22. "Red Barchetta," by Rush.
In a time of "the Motor Law," presumably legislated by green extremists, the singer describes family reunion and the thrill of driving a fast car — an act that is his "weekly crime."

23. "Brick," by Ben Folds Five.
Written from the perspective of a man who takes his young girlfriend to an abortion clinic, this song describes the emotional scars of "reproductive freedom": "Now she’s feeling more alone / Than she ever has before. . . . As weeks went by / It showed that she was not fine."

24. "Der Kommissar," by After the Fire.
On the misery of East German life: "Don’t turn around, uh-oh / Der Kommissar’s in town, uh-oh / He’s got the power / And you’re so weak / And your frustration / Will not let you speak." Also a hit song for Falco, who wrote it.

25. "The Battle of Evermore," by Led Zeppelin.
The lyrics are straight out of Robert Plant’s Middle Earth period — there are lines about "ring wraiths" and "magic runes" — but for a song released in 1971, it’s hard to miss the Cold War metaphor: "The tyrant’s face is red."

26. "Capitalism," by Oingo Boingo.
"There’s nothing wrong with Capitalism / There’s nothing wrong with free enterprise. . . . You’re just a middle class, socialist brat / From a suburban family and you never really had to work."

27. "Obvious Song," by Joe Jackson.
For property rights and economic development, and against liberal hypocrisy: "There was a man in the jungle / Trying to make ends meet / Found himself one day with an axe in his hand / When a voice said ‘Buddy can you spare that tree / We gotta save the world — starting with your land’ / It was a rock ’n’ roll millionaire from the USA / Doing three to the gallon in a big white car / And he sang and he sang ’til he polluted the air / And he blew a lot of smoke from a Cuban cigar."

28. "Janie’s Got a Gun," by Aerosmith.
How the right to bear arms can protect women from sexual predators: "What did her daddy do? / It’s Janie’s last I.O.U. / She had to take him down easy / And put a bullet in his brain / She said ’cause nobody believes me / The man was such a sleaze / He ain’t never gonna be the same."

29. "Rime of the Ancient Mariner," by Iron Maiden.
A heavy-metal classic inspired by a literary classic. How many other rock songs quote directly from Samuel Taylor Coleridge?

30. "You Can’t Be Too Strong," by Graham Parker.
Although it’s not explicitly pro-life, this tune describes the horror of abortion with bracing honesty: "Did they tear it out with talons of steel, and give you a shot so that you wouldn’t feel?"

31. "Small Town," by John Mellencamp.
A Burkean rocker: "No, I cannot forget where it is that I come from / I cannot forget the people who love me."

32. "Keep Your Hands to Yourself," by The Georgia Satellites.
An outstanding vocal performance, with lyrics that affirm old-time sexual mores: "She said no huggy, no kissy until I get a wedding vow."

33. "You Can’t Always Get What You Want," by The Rolling Stones.
You can "[go] down to the demonstration" and vent your frustration, but you must understand that there’s no such thing as a perfect society — there are merely decent and free ones.

34. "Godzilla," by Blue Öyster Cult.
A 1977 classic about a big green monster — and more: "History shows again and again / How nature points up the folly of men."

35. "Who’ll Stop the Rain," by Creedence Clearwater Revival.
Written as an anti–Vietnam War song, this tune nevertheless is pessimistic about activism and takes a dim view of both Communism and liberalism: "Five-year plans and new deals, wrapped in golden chains . . ."

36. "Government Cheese," by The Rainmakers.
A protest song against the welfare state by a Kansas City band that deserved more success than it got. The first line: "Give a man a free house and he’ll bust out the windows."

37. "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down," by The Band.
Despite its sins, the American South always has been about more than racism — this song captures its pride and tradition.

38. "I Can’t Drive 55," by Sammy Hagar.
A rocker’s objection to the nanny state. (See also Hagar’s pro-America song "VOA.")

39. "Property Line," by The Marshall Tucker Band.
The secret to happiness, according to these southern-rock heavyweights, is life, liberty, and property: "Well my idea of a good time / Is walkin’ my property line / And knowin’ the mud on my boots is mine."

40. "Wake Up Little Susie," by The Everly Brothers.
A smash hit in 1957, back when high-school social pressures were rather different from what they have become: "We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot."

41. "The Icicle Melts," by The Cranberries.
A pro-life tune sung by Irish warbler Dolores O’Riordan: "I don’t know what’s happening to people today / When a child, he was taken away . . . ’Cause nine months is too long."

42. "Everybody’s a Victim," by The Proclaimers.
Best known for their smash hit "I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)," this Scottish band also recorded a catchy song about the problem of suspending moral judgment: "It doesn’t matter what I do / You have to say it’s all right . . . Everybody’s a victim / We’re becoming like the USA."

43. "Wonderful," by Everclear.
A child’s take on divorce: "I don’t wanna hear you say / That I will understand someday / No, no, no, no / I don’t wanna hear you say / You both have grown in a different way / No, no, no, no / I don’t wanna meet your friends / And I don’t wanna start over again / I just want my life to be the same / Just like it used to be."

44. "Two Sisters," by The Kinks.
Why the "drudgery of being wed" is more rewarding than bohemian life.

45. "Taxman, Mr. Thief," by Cheap Trick.
An anti-tax protest song: "You work hard, you went hungry / Now the taxman is out to get you. . . . He hates you, he loves money."

46. "Wind of Change," by The Scorpions.
A German hard-rock group’s optimistic power ballad about the end of the Cold War and national reunification: "The world is closing in / Did you ever think / That we could be so close, like brothers / The future’s in the air / I can feel it everywhere / Blowing with the wind of change."

47. "One," by Creed.
Against racial preferences: "Society blind by color / Why hold down one to raise another / Discrimination now on both sides / Seeds of hate blossom further."

48. "Why Don’t You Get a Job," by The Offspring.
The lyrics aren’t exactly Shakespearean, but they’re refreshingly blunt and they capture a motive force behind welfare reform.

49. "Abortion," by Kid Rock.
A plaintive song sung by a man who confronts his unborn child’s abortion: "I know your brothers and your sister and your mother too / Man I wish you could see them too."

50. "Stand By Your Man," by Tammy Wynette.
Hillary trashed it — isn’t that enough? If you’re worried that Wynette’s original is too country, then check out the cover version by Motörhead.

UPDATE: It occurred to me after I originally posted this piece that I’d missed two of the most obvious problems with the list—well, besides how stupid most of it is.

1) It assumes, bizarrely, that only conservatives weren’t big fans of communism and/or the Berlin Wall and

B) many of the songs are on here purely because they advocate getting and/or staying married. As though divorce is purely a liberal thang.

I guess that’s news to Ronald Reagan.
And Rudy Giuliani.
And John McCain.
And George Allen.
And Newt Gingrich.

Meanwhile, Hillary Rodham Clinton was pilloried for "standing by her man" through all his mortifying peccadilloes (mortifying because the Supreme Court absurdly ruled that it was only meet and just that their dirty laundry be aired posthaste and the mainstream media insisted upon airing said dirty laundry continuously for years and are positively all hot and bothered again at the prospect of being able to start right back up—but discussing actual presidential lawbreaking involving unconstitutional activities? Oh, heavens to mergatroid, we can’t have that…).

So, to recap:
When liberals divorce? Evil.
When liberals remain married? Evil, or at least conniving.
When conservatives get divorced? [Crickets chirping, and then] Look! Osama bin Laden!

UPDATE II: Well, give him this—he’s persistent. (Incorrigible may be a better description, except that it has at least slightly fond connotations.)

Miller loved the brouhaha he started with his first ridiculous list, so like a boxer who doesn’t realize he’s already got brain damage, he’s back for more.

Impressively, it may be even worse than last time, hard as that is to believe.

Comments

[Steve the LLamabutcher]

I disagree totally with the list order: as one who possesses dog-eared copies of the complete works of Friedrich Hayek and went through college with a framed poster of Milton Friedman over his bed, I would argue that song #38 completely captures the zeitgeist of Austrian/Chicago economic libertarian/conservatism as filtered through a post-Goldwater sagebrush Reagan lens.

Followed closely by #20---darn if that isn't one of the all-time greatest licks at the beginning.

I just saw on your sidebar you listen to PFunk---did you ever see the movie PC U? Hilarious scene in it with George Clinton out of his gourd.

[fish]

I remember, hanging out in the basement with my friends. A stolen six pack of Micky's big mouths, firing up the Apogee bong and rocking out to Tammy Wynette cranked up to 11. Man, those were the days. Real rebels we were.

[kabuki]

Oh for god's sake. If anything proves conservatives don't get rock-n-roll, this is it. Bob Dylan? Bowie? CCR? This is why he had to do a top SONG list instead of a top singer list, because it's easier to cherry pick one song's lyrics than try to convince us those people are conservatives. A singer list would be left with Sammy Hagar and Ted Nugent, and how sad is that?

I'm particularly irritated by the entry from the Cranberries, when they wrote one of the better PRO-CHOICE songs, "Free to Decide". "I live as I choose or I will not live at all"

[Scott]

This is why he had to do a top SONG list instead of a top singer list, because it's easier to cherry pick one song's lyrics than try to convince us those people are conservatives. A singer list would be left with Sammy Hagar and Ted Nugent, and how sad is that?

I thought it most notable and extremely amusing that the best known far-right conservative rocker of them all, the aforementioned Motor City Madman, Ted Nugent, didn’t make the list at all. What the--?! No "Wang Dang Sweet Poontang"?! How can that be?!

Hm. Spellcheck didn’t seem to recognize the word "poontang." I obviously need to elevate my writing somewhat.

[Aaron]

Cult of Personality... Isn't this line, "Neon lights a nobel prize / A leader speaks, that leader dies" a comment on the MLK, Jr. assassination?

[Pablo Picasso]

Kabuki completely misses the boat with his comments.
The list is a list of SONGS, not singers.

The 'reason' it is a list of songs is because:

A) that happens to be the stated intention by the columnist whom made the list.

B) it is NOT a referendum on the personal politics of "singers", as you refer to them, or artists, or songwriters...it is a collection of individual songs.

Additionally, Kabuki, you have a very narrow minded approach to interpreting art, as does Mr. Left of the Dial.

Go to your local art museum, and ask someone what they "see" in a particular painting. I bet you it will be different from what you "see."
That's the beauty of art---is it all in the eye of the beholder.
(well, except for Communist & Islamist regimes, where freedom of expression gets your butt thrown in jail, but that's a discussion for another day.)

[Scott]

Kabuki completely misses the boat with his comments.
The list is a list of SONGS, not singers.

Ah! Well, that clears that right up.

The 'reason' it is a list of songs is because:
A) that happens to be the stated intention by the columnist whom made the list.

Yes but that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re bound to interpret it that way, does it?

B) it is NOT a referendum on the personal politics of "singers", as you refer to them, or artists, or songwriters...it is a collection of individual songs.

Oh. Well, why didn’t it say so at any point?

I might oh so hesitantly suggest that you may have mayhap missed Kabuki’s point, which was that, yes, indeed, this was a list of SONGS, not singers—he or she never, in fact, disputed that. His or her point was that it was a list of SONGS, not singers, not only because that was more interesting, but because the writer would have been unable to compile 50 Great Conservative Rock Singers/Writers. That’s all

At least, that’s how I interpret what Kabuki wrote. Perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps, however, that’s not what Kabuki actually meant. Or perhaps that’s not what I actually mean, it’s merely what I think I mean. At this point in time.

Kabuki, you have a very narrow minded approach to interpreting art, as does Mr. Left of the Dial.

Oh, please, no need to be so formal—Mr. Left of the Dial is my dad. You can just call me Left.

As for my having a narrow-minded approach to art, you might be right, but it’s certainly no more narrow than, say, putting together a list of songs you believe conform to the conservative mindset. I mean, jeez, talk about narrow and restrictive.

Then again, maybe you’re just not interpreting my interpretation correctly, and wouldn’t that be a hoot and a half?

Go to your local art museum, and ask someone what they "see" in a particular painting. I bet you it will be different from what you "see."

A very good chance indeed. Which explains how the compiler of this list can so completely twist the obvious interpretation of so many of the songs listed here. Perhaps, regardless of the artist’s stated intent and/or divorced from the rest of the artist’s body of work, there is no one right interpretation of, well, anything. I mean, it’s all so relative, isn’t it?

That's the beauty of art---is it all in the eye of the beholder.

Huh. Of all the wonderful things I love about art, it’s never occurred to me that the beauty of it was that it has no real inherent meaning, but is rather completely and totally dependent upon the observer’s POV. Perhaps some art is, or at least can be, but all art? All art is completely subjective?

So it can be argued that Hamlet, say, or the Pietá or the Grosse Fuge are actually about gay marriage? Or perhaps at their very core they’re actually all about whelks. I mean, if that’s what a given beholder thinks, then they are, right? [And, really, when you come right down to it, isn’t everything all about whelks?]

In other words, it seems that you think Art is nothing more than a Rorschach test, designed to reveal something about you, whereas I would have thought that, interesting as that might sometimes be, the point of Art, or at least most art, is to reveal something to you. The artist has something he or she wants to say, and doesn’t create a given piece of art merely to find out what you think of it.

Hm. I reckon I’ll have to ponder this more.

Then again, perhaps I’m just misinterpreting you. Or perhaps you only think I am. Perhaps you’re misinterpreting yourself.

I’m so confused. All this relativism! Being a somewhat religious liberal, I'm not used to it.

Finally, I would make a Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers allusion to your name but I wouldn’t want to be, you know, misinterpreted.

[Cam]

This list is a joke. To pick a few words, out of context mind you, and try to connect them to the conservative movement is absolutely ludicrous. Maybe, MAYBE, 5 of the artists listed above had any rightward leanings, and most of these songs are either apolitical or even liberal in tone. A true list of the best conservative songs would have to stoop to John Ashcroft and Prussian Blue. Sad...

[John]

RE: Sweet Home Alabama

The line referred to in Sweet Home Alabama is actually a direct response to "Southern Man" by Niel Young. From the research I've done the entire song is a response to Neil Young's song.

[joking_guy]

From this list I gather John Miller thinks that being against the Cold War automatically makes you a Conservative in everything? I think there were a few liberals who weren't too happy about the whole incident.

Quoting things out of context makes anyone sound smart.

Name one, John. ;)

[The Beatles]

You left out the relevant line in 'Revolution' - 'if you're talking about destruction, don't you know that you can count me out'.. Nice to find out that all you conservatives are anti-war after all! Finally.

[jason]

I think it's a shame that Miller did not bother to solicit comments from the songwriters. Most of them are still alive.

Then again, an interview with some of these artists might have revealed, as Bill Hicks surmised, that all of the best songs were written by people who were "rrrrreal high on drugs".

[dmc]

Many times in this list, the author has quoted lyrics representing a POV that the song writer is condemning, to be the POV of the song writer himself. Rather moronic.

U2 quoting Latin is an expression of their catholicism not politics, Iron Maiden quoting S.T.C. I think you need to perhaps acquaint yourself with a little of the debauchery that coleridge did in his lifetime.

Foolish at best

[algertman]

Jesus Jones man, JESUS JONES!

[Cleveland Bob]

If it hasn't been said already:

Two words...cognitive dissonance.

Conservative Rock is an OXYMORON.

Conservatives don't know HOW to rock.

Conservatives are uncool fascists.

Conservatives are your parents banging on your bedroom door, shouting "TURN DOWN THAT NOISE".

Dubya thinks an Oxymoron is a particularly stupid draft animal.

[nikto]

What about "The Green Berets" by Barry Sadler?
Very righty-Jingoistic.

And the most rightwing tune of all:

"WAR PIGS" by Black Sabbath--It's f'n ABOUT CONSERVATIVES,
fer Chrissake!!

[HDBiker]

This proves conservatives need to be talked to like two year olds. They can't even get the meaning out of songs! That explains why bush is soooooooo god damn patronizing. He is talking to his ignorant base! How about that! I am part of the eddumacated elite!

Where is Janice Joplin? She was praying in Mercedes Benz.

[heads]

"...as one who possesses dog-eared copies of the complete works of Friedrich Hayek and went through college with a framed poster of Milton Friedman over his bed, I would argue that song #38 completely captures the zeitgeist of Austrian/Chicago economic libertarian/conservatism as filtered through a post-Goldwater sagebrush Reagan lens."

Priceless sentence, was your major "Contrived Writing" with a minor in "Pointless Referencing of Academics?" And a framed Friedman poster? Perhaps they were all out of signed lithographs...

[JamesE]

This list is unbelievably puerile and uninformed; its author is implicitly admitting that, since conservatives are virtually without creative allies, it's necessary to willfully misconstrue a few lines from particular songs to enlist them in their "cause."
The inclusion of about 95% of these tracks could be effectively contested, but a few are conspicuously bizarre: Iron Maiden's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner?" Because it has Coleridge as its source? Though Coleridge may have employed a somewhat conservative (in literary terms) prosody, have you known many conservatives to read much more than the latest Anne Coulter book and the like? Or are literary classics now the domain of Republicans? Anyway, aren't they always bashing "literary and cultural elites?"
The inclusion of The Clash amounts to a smear. Nor do I really see the connection, unless Miller perceives "Rock the Casbah" as being "politically incorrect" and thus to his liking. Strange and more than a little pathetic.

[Samurai Sam]

He left Bob Seger off the list too. "Her Strut" is a fine conservative anthem.

[Scott]

So several folks have complained that I said Rush was, at their very best, a seventh-rate band. After much reflection, I have decided that these folks are correct. Feel free to delete Rush in that sentence and replace them with Sammy Hagar or The Rainmakers (who I actually liked for a while in college—we even covered one of their songs in our eleventh-rate band). Rush is more like a third-rate band at their very best and I regret the slur and any hurt feelings I’ve caused the band or their fans.

Oh, but I did want to add—and maybe I should do this in an update to the main piece—that some of the songs were picked because they advocate getting and/or staying married. As though divorce is purely a liberal thang.

I guess that’s news to Ronald Reagan.
And Rudy Giuliani.
And John McCain.
And George Allen.
And Newt Gingrich.

Meanwhile, Hillary Rodham Clinton was pilloried for "standing by her man" through all his mortifying peccadilloes (mortifying because the Supreme Court absurdly ruled that it was only meet and just that their dirty laundry be aired posthaste and mainstream media insisted upon airing said dirty laundry continuously for years—but discussing actual presidential lawbreaking? Oh, heavens to mergatroid, we can’t have that…).

So, to recap:
When liberals divorce? Evil.
When liberals remain married? Evil, or at least conniving.
When conservatives get divorced? [Crickets chirping, and then] Look! Osama bin Laden!

[David Flores]

Bah... the "National Review" likes these dorky lists, mostly because they know they'll piss of Lefties who understand how absurd of an interpretative spin they're putting on these songs. I remember way back when NR did a "top conservative movies" of all time list. The said, for instance, that "The Bycicle Thief" was some sort of paean to the inalienable right to private property. As if a movie about a poor man who is driven to despair when the bycicle he needs for work is stolen bears any relation whatsoever to an American CEO's "inalienable right" to earn a $200 million paycheck.

List stories are all abouy the reaction to the list. The list itself is more of an afterthought.

[HDBiker]

Where is "Lola" by the Kinks? I mean come on, that totally describes the White house now!!!!

[JamesE]

AHAha, or maybe the opening lines of The Kinks' "Wicked Annabella" could be interpreted as a prescient and vivid glimpse into today's White House: "In a dark and misty house/Where no Christian man has been..." Why not? It would certainly be consistent with this list's tendency to twist lyrics so grossly out of context that they can mean pretty much anything.

[Xaq Fixx]

a great anti-welfare state song is the Flametrick Subs - "Government Issue Bathroom Tissue"
Well the old man never liked to work
The very thought of it drove him berzerk
He said the workin' man ain't nothin' but a fool
He said he'd never punch the clock
He'd punch his boss and then he'd walk
He'd be damned before he'd ever lift a tool

So with the help from some of his veteran friends
He sent some letters to some Congressmen
He'd check our box everyday for a reply
Well first they sent a government letter
Then the things they sent started gettin' better
And now you can see we're livin' far and wide

Chorus:
'Cause we got government issue bathroom tissue
Five pound blocks of cheese and powdered milk piled in the hall
U.S. Army surplus jeeps, big bags of beans, donated sheep
And so many God-damned food stamps that they're piled up wall to wall
(Yeah we got it all...y'all)

So if you're the type that don't like to work
Wanna sit around your house like a lazy jerk
Then listen real careful to my daddy's plan
Yeah come up with a story real pathetic
And write it down real poetic
Then send it to everybody in Congress, man

Chorus:
They'll give you government issue bathroom tissue
Five pound blocks of cheese and powdered milk piled in the hall
U.S. Army surplus jeeps, big bags of beans, donated sheep
And so many God-damned food stamps that they're piled up wall to wall

[Lexslamman]

How ironic, considering that most of these artists detested conservativism, as the faux-liberal republican right describes the ideology, anyway.

In fact, I don't think the author of this article has any clue what conservativism is, nor much of a clue as to the intentions of the songwriters whose work he has terribly misinterpreted.

[Tomato Observer]

Uh, that NRO piece has to be a joke. I mean a real joke. Get a sense of humor!

[Paul Lyon]

Scott:

The Grosse Fuge? How elitist of you! How many people are there who have even heard of the finale of op. 130, nevermind actually like listening to it :-) The last bits of the piece are, to be sure, wonderful, and especially the way it ends: the shortest, but one of the most satisfying of Beethoven's triumphal endings. (IMHO, the quartet goes just as well with its original ending, so no fair reminding me that the Grosse Fuge got detached.:-)

[Fossilhippie]

A real conservative top 50 list should include "Das Lied der Deutschen", otherwise known as "Deutschland Uber Alles" as well as the theme song from the classic Peter O'Toole movie, "The Ruling Class".

[Dale]

HOw about 'Police Truck' by the Dead Kennedys ?

Check the lyrics...

[Scott]

The Grosse Fuge? How elitist of you!

I try to leaven my transgressions at least sporadically by listening to a certain amount of Britney Spears. Hey, it's better'n being on the highway as the same time as she is.

How many people are there who have even heard of the finale of op. 130, nevermind actually like listening to it :-) The last bits of the piece are, to be sure, wonderful, and especially the way it ends: the shortest, but one of the most satisfying of Beethoven's triumphal endings. (IMHO, the quartet goes just as well with its original ending, so no fair reminding me that the Grosse Fuge got detached.:-)

The Grosse Fuge got detached. Oh, dammit! I wasn’t supposed to say that, was I? I can’t get nothin’ right…

I enjoy all of LvB’s quartets but particularly gravitate towards the late ones. The Grosse Fuge, however, is absolutely is my favorite of all his pieces for string quartet. It is an awe-inspiring creation.

…but I still prefer Shostakovich’s quartets. :)

[trialsanderrors]

24. "Der Kommissar," by After the Fire.
On the misery of East German life: "Don’t turn around, uh-oh / Der Kommissar’s in town, uh-oh / He’s got the power / And you’re so weak / And your frustration / Will not let you speak." Also a hit song for Falco, who wrote it.

Falco was Austrian, he wrote the song about Austrian drug subculture, and there wasn't even a police rank named Kommissar in East Germany. They truly lie about everything.

[Eban Crawford]

I will take a diferent track on my comment. Forget Conservatives and Liberals, this is a case of lists, and all lists suck.

I wonder why journalists that come up with these assinine top 50 and top 100 lists even get paid. They obviously can't come up with anything worthy for a deadline and thus resort to this.

Remember the horrible Rolling Stone top guitarists list that had Jack White, who is arguably a good songwriter, near the top of the list. Jack White as one of the best guitarists of all time?

The fact is, most, if not all, of these lists are complete wastes of time and space. In a world where we can't agree on big or small things, what gives these journalistic lightweights the idea that they can speak on anything with the authority to list the top anything?

People that read these lists as if they mean anything are part of our world problem today, many can't even motivate themselves to think or have an original thought.

BTW, I am neither Republican or Democrat, I am 100% Crawford, and totally full of myself.

[Eban Crawford]

I will take a diferent track on my comment. Forget Conservatives and Liberals, this is a case of lists, and all lists suck.

I wonder why journalists that come up with these assinine top 50 and top 100 lists even get paid. They obviously can't come up with anything worthy for a deadline and thus resort to this.

Remember the horrible Rolling Stone top guitarists list that had Jack White, who is arguably a good songwriter, near the top of the list. Jack White as one of the best guitarists of all time?

The fact is, most, if not all, of these lists are complete wastes of time and space. In a world where we can't agree on big or small things, what gives these journalistic lightweights the idea that they can speak on anything with the authority to list the top anything?

People that read these lists as if they mean anything are part of our world problem today, many can't even motivate themselves to think or have an original thought.

BTW, I am neither Republican or Democrat, I am 100% Crawford, and totally full of myself.

[DAS]

Jumping in and adding my $0.02 worth:

This list is indeed a list of conservative songs if and only if a certain definition of conservative is used -- an anti-communist who likes art that is, in a certain sense, 'classical'/allusive and who rejects moral relativism and change for the sake of change."

This definition applies to more than a few left-wing, beyond liberal moonbat Democrats and does not at all apply to many a neo-con.

This sort of thing is, however, a mere example of the sort of thing many conservatives do all the time: they claim to stand for, as "conservatives" certain things, but really many liberals stand for those things while the thrust of the conservative movement is to oppose those things. It's amazing how "conservatives" are able to so misrepresent and even delude themselves, ain't it?

[Ben]

For years, the social conservative movement has ceaselessly attacked rock music, and now they have the unmitigated gall to attempt to co-opt it for the sake of ham-handedly furthering their narcissistic fantasy-world agendas? If I wasn't so insulted by such this light-weight b.s., I would be laughing myself to the point of injury.

[Ben]

For years, the social conservative movement has ceaselessly attacked rock music, and now they have the unmitigated gall to attempt to co-opt it for the sake of ham-handedly furthering their narcissistic fantasy-world agendas? If I wasn't so insulted by such light-weight b.s., I would be laughing myself to the point of injury.

Don't they mean songs by liberal artists co-opted and interpreted by conservatives. Why don't they list the best conservative artists ever.... oh, wait, conservatives can't write music, understand art, or independent thought whatsoever... my bad.

A bass is a kind of guitar, dumbass.

[Scott]

A bass is a kind of guitar, dumbass.

Ha!

Good try, my anonymous friend.

Y’all are just so cute when you try (in vain) to defend the indefensible!

[LL]

I need to go vomit with disgust as how mentally undeveloped and inept John Miller is. In other words: what an absolute RETARD. I especially love how conservatives say that liberals are spin doctors.....when this asshole has done more than spin some discs of music. He has misinterpreted some of the most OBVIOUSLY liberal (hence intelligent) messages.

One of my favorites:
Beach Boys - Wouldn't it be nice "pro abstinance, pro-marriage"....uhh....or they can't do each other because of their neo-nazi-frigid-ASEXUAL-religious fundamentalist parents.

[Fyish]

Not to mention that Johnny from the Sex Pistols said that 'Bodies' wasn't pro- or anti- abortion. :D

[CB]

Some songs happen to sit better with conservatives than others, I guess. It's easy to interpret "Wouldn't It Be Nice" or "Bodies" as conservative on the subjects being discussed (marriage and abortion, respectively). For the most part, however, it does seem like a big joke. "Heroes"? "Rock the Casbah"? Not so sure...

[scott]

Okay, I give: can someone coming here from The Rude Pundit please explain to me why I'm again getting hundreds of hits per day on this, nearly three years after I originally posted it?

[Ron Torget]

Never mind your politics. Callling Rush a 7th rate band is unforgivable.

BTW, progressives continue to demonstrate their deranged thinking about this rather meaningless article from NR. Check out the update.

http://article.nationalreview.com/435185/conservative-rock-songs-deconstructed/john-j-miller

Please apply your own (supposedly) principles and be open minded about other groups of people. Just because we have different political beliefs doesn't mean with automatically have different cultural tastes.

[arenao]

I especially love how conservatives say that liberals are spin doctors.....when this asshole has done more than spin some discs of music. He has misinterpreted some of the most OBVIOUSLY liberal (hence intelligent) messages.