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Monday, May 01, 2006

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fish

Yes the oil companies are powerless to control prices:

SANTA MONICA, Calif., Sept. 7 /U.S. Newswire/ -- The Foundation for Taxpayer and Consumer Rights (FTCR) today exposed internal oil company memos that show how the industry intentionally reduced domestic refining capacity to drive up profits.

Yep, powerless:

So if more expensive crude oil doesn't actually physically get to the pump for months, and the price at the pump goes up immediately, who's pocketing that money in the meantime? Hint: It's not your local gas station owner. Just check out the stock prices of the oil companies, and you'll have the correct answer.

Way, powerless:

the market price of oil is fixed in minute-by-minute trading of oil futures contracts on the floor of the New York Mercantile Exchange or its equivalents in London, Singapore, and elsewhere, and now in electronic trading as well. The trading is, for the most part, opaque, and the identity of those originating trades can easily be kept secret by using straw men or by operating through blind accounts. The anonymity lends itself to manipulation of the futures markets if someone has the means and the desire.

If only I could get me some of that powerlessness...

Tom

Hey, we elected (or pretended to elect) two oil men. We should all now be surprised that oil company profits are obscenely high? Please.

Did you see Colbert at the White House Correspondents' Dinner? He was brilliant. Of course, the same lap dog media that enabled the Bush coup in the first place is ignoring the performance.Check out crooksandliars.com; CSPAn likely won't rerun it.

"Never mind that s--t; it's Mongo!"

Ann O'Neamus

The E.C.W.D. chain reaction

In nuclear physics, a chain reaction is the effect of one neutron in a critical mass
of uranium hitting the nucleus of another atom of uranium displacing two more neutrons
that hit two other nuclei hitting more atoms, and so on, liberating an enormous quantity
of energy. In economical physics, the E.C.W.D. chain reaction goes this way:

The chairman of Egzon, a big oil company, has been quite naughty lately, fooling
around with his secretary, and playing golf and drinking too much with the executives
of the company (the cost/efficiency of the company has coincidently been bad also).
His wife's birthday is coming up soon, and it's going to cost him big; a few weeks ago
she saw a beautiful diamond necklace with matching diamond earrings at de Beers
on Fifth Avenue.

One morning, recovering from a painful hangover, the chairman starts to concoct
a plan to recover the cost of the diamonds. Now, contrary to what one might think, there
are not that many ways for a chairman to make extra money, either he lowers the cost
of production or he hikes the cost of the product. He decides to call an old friend, an oil
well owner, and asks him to sell his oil barrels to Egzon at 1% higher than the current
market price; the friend is too happy to comply. This way, the chairman theorizes, he will
be sanctionned to raise the price of the fuel at the pump, the speculators, anticipating
bigger profits, will buy more shares of Egzon, heightening the value of the shares that
he will sell after the quarterly report, making the substantial benefits he needs to cover
his wife's diamond necklace.

At Bullish Petroleum's (BP) headquarters, what the chairman sees is that
a competitor is perceiving an oil shortage; so he wills to buy the oil barrel at 2% over
the market price. At Shelf, another big oil company, the chairman is pressured by some
of his shareholders, crowned heads of Europe, to go 4%, and secure their reserves. Not
willing to be out-smarted by its rivals, Elf-Armoric, a French oil consortium, is willing
to pay 8%. Following the trend, Texacto, another big oil company, throws in 16%, and
Chevrette, a smaller but important oil company with tight reserves, has to go 32%. Many
smaller companies are considering 64%.

While this crazy turmoil is going on, Hugo Chivas, president of Valenzuela, a big oil
producing country, is laughing all his way to meet his friend Fidel Castor, head of Cubavana,
a communist country, and hands him a huge check covered by the unexpected profits he's
collecting from the taxes excised on the oil barrel. Who's laughing also is sheik Shamani,
king of an important member of OPEC, who, with his profits, is paying a ransom to Al
Kidda, a Muslim terrorist group, so it won't harass his country too much.

For all that madness, Egzon's chairman's wife got her diamond necklace with
the matching earrings. Bullish Petroleum's chairman's wife saw her diamonds at a charity
committee meeting wich they both attend, she taught they were gorgeous; her birthday
is coming up soon also, she wants bigger ones.

Ann O'Neamus,
Secretary of a big oil company.

Scott

Hello American Petroleum Institute!

How nice of you to drop by!

Just checking to see what folks thought of CEO Red Cavaney's bravura performance this weekend, I take it?

Hey, I've got some other good articles on here too, like how to teach a kid to ride a bike effortlessly and The Care and Feeding of Your Introvert, just to pick two of my most popular. Feel free to poke around a bit.

[And how cool is it that I'm the Number Two hit on Blogpulse for "american petroleum institute"? I'm a paltry Number Six on Blogsearch. Pretty cool...and maybe a bit frightening.]

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