Left of the Dial

Grinchity

How great is this? Because, really, who hasn’t wondered what their grinch name is?

Mine, in case you were curious and how could you not be, is Surlybeast Rascalnose. Which is a little creepy, actually. Because that really is what Top Management has been calling me for years. Every December, at least.

A big ol' Santa Claus hat tip to blogpal Shannon for this bit o' holiday cheer.

Search Me

No, seriously. If someone who got here from searching for “scott peterson update 2007” could please tell me why so many people from all over the country are suddenly doing these searches, I’d be most grateful. Thank you.

As for those of you who got here by searching for:

fort lewis truffle
Frank Zappa - Left Of The Dial
"it’s a fine fine day for a reunion"
William Shakespeare "Sign no more" what does this mean?
apogee bongs
david bowie introverted
lolcat zeppelin
I hate YouTube

well...no explanations needed.

Teh Greatests

Some folks say this is the greatest five second video on teh internets. I don’t know that I’d disagree.

But this? This is almost certainly the greatest website in the known universe. In fact, I find it hard to believe there are better elsewhere. Yes I do.

500 Years of Women in Art

Oh, sure, I've said I hate YouTube. But I don't. My love for it is mean and true. And it's not just availability of horrible videos from the 1980s—although that is awfully great.

It's also because of the way it enables creative people from around the world to present well-known art in a way that's fresh and new. And about my favorite subject, with my favorite Bach piece in the background? What's not to love?

H/T: the always interesting Charlottesville Words

Great Googley-Moogley

I have meant to keep a list of the fonky ways folks have stumbled across Left of the Dial. But, of course, I never have. Because I am full of good ideas and plans and actually do but the smallest percentage. Which explains how someone else got around to writing Shakespeare in Love seven years after I told folks I was going to write a novel almost exactly like it. Oh, and the iPod? Also my idear. As was mint cookies ‘n cream ice cream.

Okay, that one’s not true.

Anyhoo, here’s a partial list of ways people found this here blog just in the past few days.

I am the first hit for:
"i'm not used to it" Offspring lyrics

I am the first (and second) hit for:
lyrics to " mister roboto" by sticks

For helpin’ me escape just when I needed to.

I am the second hit for:
Vomitorium Amphitheater

I am the second (and third) hit for:
huck finn "i am one of you forever"

Awesome.

The third for:
song that sounds like the neon lights part of cult of personality

I have no idea what song that is. But I know this: it’s not as good as the original.

The third for:
robert steinback random thoughts

Got a TON of those this week—someone must have assigned a report recently.

Third for:
lyrics "how can i let" "walk away" "John Mayer"

Heh. Given how I do nothing but rag on Mister Desperately Needs to Be Slapped, that one amooses me greatly.

Fourth for:
filles de kilimanjaro pronunciation

Seventh for:
50 DRIVE TIME ANTHEMS LISTS

Ninth for:
The restlessness edgy anxiety bored of Daisy The Great Gatsby

On this one, Google wants to know if I mean:
The restlessness edgy anxiety board of Daisy The Great Gatsby

Yes. Yes, I do. The Edgy Anxiety Board is a panel on which Daisy served in her free time.

Ninth (and tenth) for:
john mellencamp keyboard piano pedophile

Zoinks!

11th (and 12th) for:
gary larson the far side penguin singing i want to be me

Just that search made me smile.

11th for:
minivan rooftop carrier that does not require crossbars

?!

And the first (and only) hit for:
"Lee Phillips" Asset Protection "green arrow"

I’d really like to know the story behind that.

Can you just imagine how disappointed these seekers must have been when they actually checked this joint out?

Also of interest, to me at least, is just how many people use search engines other than teh Google. Why? It’s like choosing generic soda over Coca-Cola even though the price is the same. Isn’t it?

A Fine, Fine Day (for a Reunion)

So a while back I was raving about YouTube, a site at which I wasted far, far too much time for a few days. Or perhaps, given how much The Bean and The Boy both loved to hang with Dear Ol' Dad and watch us some good ol’ bad videos together, it wasn't really time wasted after all.

I lamented, however, that a video I’d only seen a few times back in the 80s was nowhere to be found. Despite only managing to catch it once or twice, I found the song and the video haunting.

Well, once more, God bless America and YouTube.

Here, in all its 1980s glory, is the Tony Carey video, "A Fine, Fine Day (for a Reunion)."

It’s obviously a pretty early video but I found it surprisingly well done for all that. In fact, I found bits really, really well done indeed. It’s not a huge surprise it wasn’t played more often—the singer himself is miles away from the pretty boys MTV was preferring at the time—but a few more spins wouldn’t have been out of line.

Only one problem: I remembered the video and the song all right, but the main shot I recalled, the black and white longshot of the guy running around the top of the soccer stadium, wasn’t actually in it. Back to the starting line…

Loud and (Too) Clear

Okay, this is really weird.

I’ve had tinnitus for over a year now—at least, I’ve noticed it for that long, although I don’t know when it really started.

But you may have heard about that new ring tone that only teenagers can hear, so they can notice when they get a call on their cell phone, or a text message, and us dumb grown-ups’ll be none the wiser, right?

Well, this guy devoted a page to hearing tests. Or, more accurately, towards lots of different frequencies to see where your hearing loss starts.

It’s really interesting. And if it’s on the up-and-up, I think I’m pretty weird. Yeah, I know—news, right?

So here’s the thing: I can hear all the tests up to and including the 17,000—in fact, most of them are darn uncomfortable, so consider yourself warned about that. But I can’t hear 18,000-20,000 at all. Yet I can hear the 21,000 and up again just fine. Kinda odd, no?

My ears hurt even worse now. Lovely.

Anyhoo, I’m off to roll up one trouser and unroll the other, I think.

Tony Blankley: Lying Liar Lies

I’ve watched a lot of talking heads and, unlike actual politicians, I’ve often seen them spin, sometimes furiously, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen one simply out and out lie.

But on the McLaughlin Group just now, Tony Blankley said three times, laughing each time, "Al Gore invented the internet."

Much as I disagree vehemently with Blankley on most topics—although tonight I thought he was absolutely dead-on with one comment, although for the life of me I can’t remember what it was right now—at least I think he’s essentially honest if, you know, foundationally incorrect.

But he’s far too intelligent and learned to think for a moment that Gore ever actually claimed he invented the internet. Al Gore never said he did. And while many people repeat the falsehood without knowing the truth, Blankley is way too tuned in for ignorance to be a valid excuse in his case. He had to know what he was saying was false, which means he was simply repeating the lie for a political end.

The history of the whole smear can be found right here. The long and short of it is, Gore was perhaps sloppy in the way he phrased the claim, but he corrected it within literally seconds, in his very next sentence, and even so, the arguably sloppy phrasing still was far from incorrect, much less untrue.

I often somewhat facetiously thank Al Gore for inventing the internets, trusting that most of my regular readers will know I’m being tongue-in-cheek. But just to be crystal-clear: Al Gore never claimed he invented the internet. And if anyone ever says he did, that person is either ignorant or lying.

And now you know.

Reason #1725894 Why I Love My Wife

So I open up a new Google page, as I do several dozen times a day, and I’m suddenly surprised to see that where it would normally say

Web Images Groups Directory

it now says

Web Images Gwoups Diwectowy

and where it would normally say

Google Search I'm Feeling Lucky

it now says

Google Seawch I'm Feewing Wucky

and where it would normally say

Advanced Search Preferences Language Tools

it now says

Advanced Seawch Pweferwences Wanguage Toows

because, you see, she’s changed the default language from "English" to "Elmer Fudd."

Here’s a list of languages you can set your Google default to:

* Afrikaans * Albanian * Amharic * Arabic * Armenian * Azerbaijani * Basque * Belarusian * Bengali * Bihari * Bork, bork, bork! * Bosnian * Breton * Bulgarian * Cambodian * Catalan * Chinese (Simplified) * Chinese (Traditional) * Corsican * Croatian * Czech * Danish * Dutch * Elmer Fudd * English * Esperanto * Estonian * Faroese * Filipino * Finnish * French * Frisian * Galician * Georgian * German * Greek * Guarani * Gujarati * Hacker * Hebrew * Hindi * Hungarian * Icelandic * Indonesian * Interlingua * Irish * Italian * Japanese * Javanese * Kannada * Kazakh * Klingon * Korean * Kurdish * Kyrgyz * Laothian * Latin * Latvian * Lingala * Lithuanian * Macedonian * Malay * Malayalam * Maltese * Marathi * Mongolian * Nepali * Norwegian * Norwegian (Nynorsk) * Occitan * Oriya * Pashto * Persian * Pig Latin * Polish * Portuguese (Brazil) * Portuguese (Portugal) * Punjabi * Quechua * Romanian * Romansh * Russian * Scots Gaelic * Serbian * Serbo-Croatian * Sesotho * Shona * Sindhi * Sinhalese * Slovak * Slovenian * Somali * Spanish * Sundanese * Swahili * Swedish * Tajik * Tamil * Tatar * Telugu * Thai * Tigrinya * Tonga * Turkish * Turkmen * Twi * Uighur * Ukrainian * Urdu * Uzbek * Vietnamese * Welsh * Xhosa * Yiddish * Yoruba * Zulu

And out of all those, my wife chose "Elmer Fudd."

When I came back a few hours later, where it would normally have said

Web Images Groups Directory

it now said

Daqmey pat naghmey beQ ghommey mem

and where it would normally say

Google Search I'm Feeling Lucky

it now says

GoogleDaq yInej jISuDrup

and where it would normally say

Advanced Search Preferences Language Tools

it now says

nejwI' 'Itlh De' DamaSbogh Hol SeHlaw

because, of course, she had changed it to Klingon.

I laughed like hell. ‘Cuz the thing is, neither of us even like Star Trek all that much. Which just shows how perfect she is for me. Because we both thought that hysterical, for no particularly good reason. But we both did. And she knew we would.

I just love her so much.

Happy’s Mother Day, girl of my dreams.

God Bless America

I know, I probably should have saved this for the Fourth of July, but I couldn’t help—who could possibly wait when such glories are to be shared?

Put very simply, you are not as good an American as this guy.

And to my many readers from the UK and Canada and Australia and France and Germany and Japan and Korea (South only, to the best of my knowledge) and Lithuania (!) and Indonesia and Saudi Arabia—I gotta admit, I’m a little disturbed by how popular I am in Riyadh, although the many hits I get from Kuala Lumpur’s pretty groovy—and Egypt and Norway and Turkey—lots o’ hits from Istanbul (not Constantinople)—and so on and so forth, well…this guy is a better citizen than you are too. I’m sorry, no offense, but it’s true.

Or if not, feel free to prove it with a show of devotion equal to this fella’s.

I look forward to the proof. Go ahead, bridgekeeper, do your worst.