So the Bean and I are headed home after running errands. We're talking, as people will, and I say something and she, to my shock and horror, responds with a (genuinely funny) sarcastic remark.
"Why?" I ask. "Why would you say such a thing? Why would you hurt my feelings thusly?"
She grins. "Oh, I'm sorry; I didn't know you had feelings."
I scowl. "Please. If I didn't have feelings, I certainly wouldn't keep all you little ragamuffins around. It's not like that's the fiscally prudent decision to have made."
"Well," she says, pursing her lips in thought. "You never know. I might invent something someday that'll earn a million dollars, and then I'll share it with you."
Ignoring the fact that a half million dollars a decade hence won't come remotely close to making things all square financially, I say, "Ah, but how do I know you'd share the money? After all, you'll be under no legal obligation to do so."
She thinks for a moment, then nods. "You're right. That's really more the Rose's style."
Fleeced again. In advance, even.
Just waitin' for the money to roll right in...