I came down here to the office in a great mood, all set to write about something else today. Then this caught my eye:
Sen. Arlen Specter, ardent Eagles fan and chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, yesterday accused the NFL and its Philadelphia franchise of potentially violating antitrust laws in their treatment of Terrell Owens.
Speaking at a news conference in Harrisburg, Specter (R., Pa.) said he was investigating the matter and might refer it to the Senate panel's antitrust subcommittee.
The senator said the league and the Eagles had effectively blacklisted the all-pro wide receiver by forbidding him from playing and by banning other teams from talking to him. He called such treatment "vindictive and inappropriate."
You know what? The good senator, whom I normally rather like, may be right. It may indeed be vindictive and inappropriate (words which, incidentally, describe Owens quite well).
And you know what else? Who gives a shit? Who in the hell gives a shit? Who in their right freakin’ minds gives a shit?
Senator Specter, I respectfully request that you pull your head out of your ass and turn your attention to the dozens of life-threatening matters currently on your agenda.
Iraq is only the most obvious. The criminally lax state of our national security, as evidenced by the Department of Homeland Security’s hideously amateurish performance during Hurricane Katrina, is another worthy subject. There’s always the problem with our borders and our ports. There’s a reprehensible lack of health care for millions of American children. There’s our ostrich-meets-lemming energy policy, which not only kills thousands of Americans each year due to increased pollution but in a further twist of irony funds the very terrorists we then have to go bankrupt to find and fight.
Oh, and did I mention Katrina? Did I mention that things may, incredible as it is to believe, be far, far worse down in New Orleans that we’d thought possible? That we may have, in fact, lost a major American city after all?
And that’s just off the top of my head. Now, I’m not claiming I have the answer to any one of these problems (well, actually, I have solutions to all of them, but then I’m not a senator). But I absolutely am claiming that each and every one of them is a serious enough problem that it could be a full-time job for any senator. And each and every one of them is several thousand times more important than Terrell Owens.
So, Senator, I’m thinkin’ you’ve got enough on your plate. Get your priorities straight, you stupid son-of-a-bitch. Take care of the millions of Americans who need you rather than one more spoiled rich guy who doesn’t.